Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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