I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
