dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I wish you could order shots online.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
