Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
