Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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