She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
