Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
This toilet bowl is my home.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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