I can text with my tongue
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My vagina is officially offended.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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