Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We had to coat check the pizza.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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