pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
