So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
