haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
