; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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