I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We left an ass print on the piano.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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