I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize