Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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