does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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