i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
