last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
