There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
