Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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