TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
