I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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