At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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