people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
