Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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