I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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