All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
