it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
MIDGETS
????
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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