girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
