I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
