i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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