Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
