You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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