We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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