stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
