If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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