I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
