We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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