In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
