We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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