Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
