Please, let me fuck your mom
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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