The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i think i have two assholes
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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