I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
