I faked an abortion last night.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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