The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
