That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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