Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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