did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
