Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
