Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
