yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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