I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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