Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
