just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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