He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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