the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
