i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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