remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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