Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
