dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
wow bdsm is so cute
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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